10 Things They Never Tell You about having Kids

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There is nothing better than the anticipation of that very first pregnancy… Will we have a boy or a girl? Will they look like us? How much fun will it be to dress them up, buy them all the toys we wish we’d been given as children, decorate the nursery?!

Books, magazines, advertisements and even the internet, to a certain extent, all fuel the romantic fantasy. Having kids is nothing but a whirlwind of fun and frolics…

Or is it?

In actual fact, the harsh reality (and I’m not generally a huge fan of realism!) is that sometimes parenting falls short of the fantasy. Things will and do go wrong and more often than not cannot be wrapped up with a beautiful satin bow on top.

Here is a run down of the most frustrating parts of parenthood… (I do hope you will feel my pain as, after all, misery does love company!

1. You can never ever call in sick.

This is the one that prompted this post. All day today, I have been suffering from the flu from hell. My head is pounding, my nose is running like a tap, constant sneezing, high temperature, absolutely no energy to do anything.

Could I call downstairs and tell the fam that the weekend was cancelled as Mummy would have to recuperate in bed for the day?

Well, technically I could have! But to leave three children under ten to their own devices until the hubby returned from his Saturday cycle would have been foolhardy.

All manner of things could have happened… Squabbles, healthy food deprivation, minor (fingers trapped in doors!) accidents and major (house burning down!) accidents could have occured… So, pounding head or no pounding head, up I had to drag myself to attend to the basics.

At times like these, I am so grateful for flu meds, coffee… oh and the hubby!

He, on the other hand, is probably less enamoured with the fragile, headache prone, sometimes snappy lady he chose to marry! 😱

2. Babies think it’s fun to poke you in the eye when you’re falling asleep.

If there was ever an argument against co-sleeping, this is it! Why oh why do they do this all. the. time?! I’ll be lucky if I’m not blinded by the time Baby C hits the terrible twos… And then we’ll have a whole new crop of issues to contend with! 😩

3. They tend to be too truthful.

Without the benefit of parenting experience, you would think that it is a good thing to foster truthfulness in your children. But when they refuse to dress up the truth, even slightly, their words can and do cut deep

E: ‘Why do you look like Baby C is still in your tummy, Mummy?’

Me: ‘Um, um… just because!’ 😳

Not good, folks!

4. No means yes to them!

No matter how many times you tell them they can’t do something, they will persist in doing just the opposite.

Me: ‘No more sweets for you today, Z! You have had more than enough already!’

An hour or so later…

Me: ‘Now where did those Haribos go? I know I left the party pack in this cupboard… Zia!!!!’

Me: “No touching the fireplace, Baby C! It’s too dirty!’

Turn my back for five minutes…

Me: ‘Why is your face all black, Baby C? Nooooo!’

An never-ending, wearing, frustrating battle that you just can never win!

5. They want you with them, all. the. time.

Just five minutes to pop to the loo, have a shower, get dressed, eat? No, not possible! Those adorable baby blues need to have you in sight, constantly! πŸ‘€

6. You always need to be prepared for the unexpected.

Babies do not come with a manual (which is frustrating for ‘do it by the book’ people like me!). So always expect the unexpected. What works for one parent might not work for you! Likewise, temperament between siblings and even the days of the week will vary wildly. Tread with extreme caution!

7. They’re messy!

Pre-children, your home is worthy of a Vogue Living spread…

Post-children, you’ll be lucky if you’re not featured on an episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive! 😨

8. They hate to share!

Where oh where is that big purple dinosaur, Barney, when you need him most?

‘Sharing is caring!’ he bumbles.

Well, so sorry to tell you this, Barney, but that particular rule falls on deaf ears at Mostly Mum HQ! 😳

9. They rarely appreciate your culinary efforts.

Spent hours preparing all those purΓ©es from scratch?

Probably shouldn’t have bothered as they will be more likely to line your bin than your fussy baby’s tummy. 😒

#foodfail.

10. They just love to steal your stuff.

That special chocolaty treat you’ve been hiding at the back of the cupboard or the fridge? Gone as soon as you decide to indulge… Those stealthy little mitts have this knack of always getting there before you do! The only solution is a padlock…

But then again, some of those little tricksters could give Houdini a run for his money, so adept are they at unlocking the unlockable! 😲

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen!

All the reasons, parenting isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

Solutions?

I can’t thing of any right now as my head is still pounding.

But then again, a trouble shared is a trouble halved! So, come to think of it, IΒ do feel a lot better than before I put this little post together.

I hope you all feel the same… unless… you’re still in that first flush of parenthood bliss…

Oh well, bursting bubbles is always appreciated when it’s a case of ‘forewarned is forearmed’…

I think… πŸ€”

Until next time,

πŸ’‹ Mostly Mum

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